The perfect family

Reading Long Day’s Journey Into Night was an experience. Not only because I don’t read plays often, but because it started as any other plain reading that became an intriguing piece of writing who had me reading it without stopping for about fifty pages. I definitely wasn’t expecting such an intense drama behind this apparently perfect and loving family. I didn’t have high expectations when I was introduced to the play during class, so it was a surprise.  

It’s a characteristic of O’Neill’s plays to represent drama and tragedy in daily situations, and that’s exactly what Long Day’s Journey Into Night puts into evidence. At the beginning of the story, I was also deluded by the first impression that I got from the family, to then realize that it was just the result of their acting. I was fooled by really good actors who cannot fool themselves.

The Tyrone family love each other; however, it’s not enough. As I read the play, I got the feeling that their pretended-perfect relationship is the only thing that prevents them all from going insane and feel like they failed to achieve happiness. The oldest son is a failure, the youngest is dying, and the parents are trying to act like nothing's happening when they are probably in worst emotional states than their sons. From this loving family I got the idea that happiness is found only when you are able to hide your true thoughts and feelings, and when I got to the breaking point when James and Edmund yell at each other liar when discussing Mary’s situation, it can be seen how being real only causes problems.

It may be (it really is) out of topic, but this whole idea can be summarized by a pop culture reference by mister Deadpool:

Deadpool, 2016.

When I related the concept of a perfect family and happiness, I started to think that this acting has to come from somewhere, and I got to the question: how was family conceived? I’m pretty sure the American family from the 20th century was based on sexism who forced males and females to aim for fake perfection.

As I answered, I wanted to believe that my question could only be applied to the past, and for a brief second, I believed in my words.

Our conception of family is old-fashioned, and I refuse to think that it has really changed. I personally have been questioned about my future husband that I don’t pretend to have, and my future kids that I don’t want. At least once a month, I’m being forced to make myself fit in this conception of family that I don’t share. Apparently, the world is still under this “male chauvinism” that perpetuates this outdated idea of family who gets the Tyrones living a huge lie. Even if I mentioned women being oppressed, don’t get me wrong, men are also trapped in this situation.

When we read poems by  Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath, we can understand how a male centered world affects women life and reduces our identities to housewifes. Sexton’s poem Housewife explains it in the first verses: “Some women marry houses” and we all understand that it’s actually more than only some of them. As I said before, men are also trapped in this perfect family ideal. Thanks to characters like James Tyrone we can see how men are also pressured to fulfill a role that society gave them. He had to choose between passion and being the financial support of his family. The father of the family is in charge of earning money and that’s all that matters. A have a question to my male readers: Have you ever felt pressure to live your life like James does? I sincerely hope you haven’t and you never will.

Long Day’s Journey Into Night could be considered O’Neill’s autobiography but I like to think of it a clear representation of America’s vision of happiness and family. Money over passion, image over family, and a concept of family created under a male centered world. Sounds terrifying, doesn’t it? For some of us it feels like a horror movie, and I’d love to not to stay away from it, but now a question comes to my mind. Do you think Chilean families are like this? I could give you an even more extreme question, do you think our values in relation to family are based on a non-feminist view of the world?

Pop-culture alert #2: This discussion about the perfect family reminded me of a song I came across some days ago. If you still don’t get what I have been trying to explain here, maybe this song could help. Beware of the creepy melody, and try to reflect about the lyrics: Everyone thinks that we are perfect, please don’t let them look through the curtains.

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez, 2014